• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Header Logo
  • About Us
  • Podcast
  • Blog
    • All Articles
    • A Healthy Athlete
    • Coaching and Team Culture
    • Lifestyle
    • Sports Parenting
    • High Performance
    • Mindset and Mental Health
    • Girls Sports
    • Ask Dr. Sam
  • Inspiration & Humor
  • Videos
  • Join the Community
Facebook Instagram Twitter youtube pinterest

As seen in

The System Is Rigged—and Sports Parents Are Taking the Blame

  • 0shares
  • 0
  • 0

The System Is Rigged—and Sports Parents Are Taking the Blame
By Asia Mape

I overheard a mom at my daughter’s beach volleyball tournament recently. Her daughter couldn’t have been more than 11. Beach volleyball is usually mellow. Relaxed. But this mom was yelling constant instructions—tight, anxious energy that caught me by surprise. It wasn’t angry, but it was intense. Her daughter looked rattled. And honestly, so did the other parents nearby. I caught myself glancing her way—part discomfort, part judgment.

But later, I thought deeply about her.

And I felt badly: she wasn’t the problem.
She was reacting to the problem.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way we talk about sports parents—and yes, we can be a bit much, but hear me out. We are often depicted as stereotypes not real people: the sideline yellers, the over-schedulers, the daddy ball coaches, the extravagant spenders, the travel ball moms, the stressors.

But if we’re being honest, I don’t think the stereotypes tell the full story.

The Careless Language of Sports Parents 

Because parents didn’t create this system.

We walked into it—many of us wide-eyed and well-intentioned—and quickly realized just how much was expected of us if we wanted to “do it right.” It’s confusing. It’s expensive. It’s relentless. And whether you’re just starting out or have been in it for years, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly behind, constantly worried you’re missing something. So much so, that your anxiety seeps out to your kids – like the volleyball mom.

Want your kid to make the team? They need to play year-round.
Want them to keep up? Better find a private trainer.
Want them to get recruited? There goes your weekends, your vacation time, your financial margin, your mental clarity.

And the moment you try to take a breath or slow it down, the fear shows up.

Fear that your child will fall behind.
Fear that they won’t be seen.
Fear that their potential will go untapped because you didn’t do enough.

So you go all in. You put sports ahead of all else. You rearrange your life for tournaments. You sit in the car after a rough game holding back tears—sometimes theirs, sometimes yours. You stay up late editing film and questioning your decisions or your coaches.

Take our quiz: It’s a fine line. Are you supporting or pressuring your athlete?

And then, you get blamed for caring too much.

But here’s the part no one wants to say:
This system wasn’t built to support parents or the kids.
It was built to keep us anxious and constantly reaching for the next thing.
And it profits from that anxiety.

It sells us the idea that more is always better.
More training. More exposure. More pressure.
And all the while, something quietly slips away.

Joy.
The joy our kids should have playing sports. 

I’m not sharing this as a complaint. I’m sharing it as a wake-up call. One I’ve felt deeply and one I hear over and over from others in this community. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, or stuck, or silently questioned whether all of this is helping your child—or hurting them—you are not alone.

You are not failing.
You are trying to raise a healthy, happy kid inside a system that was never designed for that.

So what do we do?

We start by being honest.
With ourselves. With each other.
We talk about the pressure. The costs. The confusion. We share our concerns with other parents, coaches and administrators.
We take agency for our kid and whatever their unique situation is and what is right for our family.
We ask different questions. We listen. We make changes when it’s not working.
And we keep having these conversations. 

Let’s stop judging ourselves and other sports parents for caring.
Let’s start questioning the system that makes us feel like we’re doing it wrong, even when we’re doing our best.

Because the last thing families need is more judgment.
What they’re really craving is connection, compassion—and tools that actually help them show up better for their kids.

👉 For more like this and support along your youth sports journey, visit ilovetowatchyouplay.com and follow us on Instagram @theilovetowatchyouplay.

More articles you might enjoy:

What No One Tells You About Being a Sports Parent

A Father’s Ode To His Son’s Last Game

Nine Signs Your Child Has Burnout

The Reasons Girls Should Play Sports

About The Author

Asia Mape is a 3-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, former Division I athlete, youth sports advocate, and founder of Ilovetowatchyouplay.com. She’s a mom to three daughters—one Division I athlete, one soon-to-be, and one who ‘retired’—and all of their journeys through sport have shaped her mission to help other families navigate the chaos, pressure, and beauty of raising young athletes.

 

Primary Sidebar

  • 12 Signs You Might Be Making Youth Sports About You.
  • The System Is Rigged—and Sports Parents Are Taking the Blame
  • 20 Questions Every Sports Parent Should Ask Themselves at Their Child’s Game
  • What We Can Learn from Alex Cooper’s Story About Emotional Harm in Sports
  • The Parents Role: When They Dream, and When They Don’t
  • The Courage It Takes to Play

Categories

  • A Healthy Athlete
  • Sports Parenting
  • Coaching and Team Culture
  • High Performance
  • Lifestyle
  • Mindset

Footer

WHAT'S TRENDING IN YOUTH SPORTS?
Asia Mape Video
follow us
facebook instagram twitter youtube pinterest

We Believe In The Power Of Sports

Injuries in young athletes have soared. Costs to compete have skyrocketed. Kids are quitting in record numbers. But we believe strongly in youth sports, and the many ways it improves our childrens’ lives.

We are here to help parents regain balance and sanity, and to help restore the joy, accomplishment, and core values derived from sports.

Begin your journey today.

 

More About Us

Join the Community

Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports, delivered right to your inbox!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About the founder

According to a survey conducted over 30 years by two coaches and athletic administrators about what young athletes want to hear most from their parents after a sporting event, it turns out it is: “I love to watch you play.”

Become a Contributor

Advertising/Media

Contact

Privacy Policy/Amazon Affiliate Notification

Copyright 2025 © I Love To Watch You Play. All rights reserved. | Accessibility Feedback | Developed by Tiny Frog Technologies

Join Our Community

Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports, delivered right to your inbox!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Sign up for our newsletter
  • Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports delivered right to your inbox!
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.