20 Questions Every Sports Parent Should Ask Themselves at Their Child’s Game

20 Questions Every Sports Parent Should Ask Themselves at Their Child’s Game

20 Questions Every Sports Parent Should Ask Themselves at Their Child’s Game. Let’s be honest: youth sports can bring out the best and worst in all of us—especially on game day. We want to be calm, supportive, and present. But then the whistle blows, the nerves kick in, and suddenly we’re gripping the bleachers like we’re coaching in the World Cup. I’ve been there. Many times. And over the years, I’ve learned that a little self-check can go a long way toward making game day better—for us and, most importantly, for our kids.

So here are 20 questions to quietly ask yourself during your child’s next game. Not to judge. Just to reflect, reset, and show up the way they need us to.

1. Am I watching with love, or with expectations?

Would I still be smiling if they made a mistake right now? Or am I only relaxed when they’re playing well?

2. Is my body language helping or hurting?

Crossed arms, pacing, head in hands—our kids see it all. What am I communicating, even when I’m silent?

Take our quiz: It’s a fine line. Are you supporting or pressuring your athlete?

3. Do I know what matters most to them today?

Did they want to score? Try a new position? Just have fun with friends? Is that what I’m focusing on too?

The Careless Language of Sports Parents 

4. Would I be proud if my child heard everything I said today?

On the sidelines. In the stands. In the car. Every comment—would I say it if I knew they were listening?

5. Am I coaching, or parenting?

There’s a difference. The coach handles skills and strategy. I’m here for encouragement, support, and snacks.

6. What tone will I bring to the car ride home?

Because that moment can shape how they feel about their performance—and themselves—more than the game itself.

7. Have I taken one moment to just be grateful today?

Grateful for the chance to watch them. To be there. To witness this tiny chapter of their growing-up story.

8. Am I comparing my child to someone else’s?

Their teammate, their sibling, their younger self…none of those comparisons help them become who they’re meant to be.

9. What’s the story I’m telling myself right now?

That this game “matters”? That their future depends on it? Hit pause. It’s one game. One day. One piece of a long journey.

10. How can I help them find joy in this moment?

A wave. A smile. A thumbs-up. The tiniest signal from you can make all the difference.

11. Do they feel seen by me?

Not for the goal. Not for the hustle. But for who they are—no matter what happens out there.

12. Am I making this about me—or about them?

This one’s tough. But crucial. Our own emotions, egos, and dreams can sneak in. Stay anchored in their experience.

13. Do I know what kind of support they actually want?

Some kids want a pep talk. Some want silence. Have I asked?

14. Have I checked my own ego at the gate?

Our identity shouldn’t ride on their performance. That’s too much weight for a kid.

15. Am I remembering their age?

Ten-year-olds make ten-year-old mistakes. That’s not failure. That’s development.

16. Am I letting the referee ruin my energy?

Our kids take their cues from us. Stay grounded. Don’t spiral.

17. Do I react differently when they make a mistake versus when they succeed?

Even subtle cues matter. Which version of me are they getting?

18. Am I placing my child’s value in their performance?

They are not their stats. They are not their wins. They are so much more.

19. Have I said “I love to watch you play” today?

Those six words say everything they need to hear.

20. Am I helping them love the game—or resent it?

This isn’t just about today. It’s about whether they want to keep going tomorrow.

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These questions aren’t about getting it perfect—they’re about staying connected. Because at the end of the day, what our kids will remember most isn’t the outcome…it’s how we made them feel along the way.

👉 For more like this and support along your youth sports journey, visit ilovetowatchyouplay.com and follow us on Instagram @theilovetowatchyouplay.