• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Header Logo
  • About Us
  • Podcast
  • Blog
    • All Articles
    • A Healthy Athlete
    • Coaching and Team Culture
    • Lifestyle
    • Sports Parenting
    • High Performance
    • Mindset and Mental Health
    • Girls Sports
    • Ask Dr. Sam
  • Inspiration & Humor
  • Videos
  • Join the Community
Facebook Instagram Twitter youtube pinterest

As seen in

It’s Time We Changed The Question

  • 65shares
  • 65
  • 0

It’s Time We Changed The Question

By Jon Coles

It’s Time We Changed The Question. Lots of people agree: youth sports are spiraling out of control, and we need to make changes. 

Here’s something easy we can all do to change the trend.

Change the question.

Research shows that parents and kids agree: winning is not one of the top reasons why kids play sports. 

So why do we talk about it so much?  Why, when we see 4-10-year-olds in their Saturday uniform, do we ask, “Did you win?”  Is it really important to know if a kid who still believes in Santa Claus won?  Data shows that young sports participants are quitting at an alarming rate because it’s simply too competitive, yet it’s common for waiters, waitresses, strangers, friends, and family members to ask the question…did you win?   

Let’s change the question.  Instead of asking, “Did you win” let’s ask what’s important: “What do you learn” or “Did you have fun?” 

Let’s remember why kids play sports: to be with friends, to be part of a team, and to have fun!  Let’s also remember that it’s the pursuit of winning that teaches life skills.  The determination, teamwork, preparation, discipline, dedication, etc. that kids learn throughout the youth sports experience are the skills we want to equip them with for the real world.  Kids who win trophies and rings as 4-10-year-olds aren’t a predictor of success. 

Let’s keep things in perspective and ask kids what really matters:

What did you learn?  Did you have fun?

More articles from Ilovetowatchyouplay.com that you might like:

My Daughter Quit Sports, And This Is What Youth Sports Parents Need To Know

The 6th Man Is Actually The Parent

Kids Tell Us The Truth About Sports Parents

9 Habits of Highly Effective Team Players

Are We Doing Too Much For Our Athletes?

Youth Sports Parents Come To Your Senses

There’s Something Different About High School Sports

Dr. Jon Coles is a former collegiate coach, administrator, and high school athletic director.

He is now a practicing sports counselor and professor of sport management at Grand Valley State University.

Dr. Coles can be reached at colesj@gvsu.edu 

Primary Sidebar

  • How to Parent Through Youth Sports with One Powerful Phrase: “I Love to Watch You Play”
  • To The Parents Watching Their Last Game
  • ACL Injuries in Female Athletes: Finally, Someone’s Paying Attention
  • College Club Sports: The Best-Kept Secret in Youth Sports
  • When the Joy Fades: How to Help Your Child Through Sports Burnout
  • From Zero Stars to No. 1: What Cam Ward’s Story Teaches Every Youth Sports Family

Categories

  • A Healthy Athlete
  • Sports Parenting
  • Coaching and Team Culture
  • High Performance
  • Lifestyle
  • Mindset

Footer

WHAT'S TRENDING IN YOUTH SPORTS?
Asia Mape Video
follow us
facebook instagram twitter youtube pinterest

We Believe In The Power Of Sports

Injuries in young athletes have soared. Costs to compete have skyrocketed. Kids are quitting in record numbers. But we believe strongly in youth sports, and the many ways it improves our childrens’ lives.

We are here to help parents regain balance and sanity, and to help restore the joy, accomplishment, and core values derived from sports.

Begin your journey today.

 

More About Us

Join the Community

Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports, delivered right to your inbox!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About the founder

According to a survey conducted over 30 years by two coaches and athletic administrators about what young athletes want to hear most from their parents after a sporting event, it turns out it is: “I love to watch you play.”

Become a Contributor

Advertising/Media

Contact

Privacy Policy/Amazon Affiliate Notification

Copyright 2025 © I Love To Watch You Play. All rights reserved. | Accessibility Feedback | Developed by Tiny Frog Technologies

Join Our Community

Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports, delivered right to your inbox!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Sign up for our newsletter
  • Sign up for our weekly newsletter for the latest news, articles, inspiration, stats, funny videos, tips and everything you need if you are a parent or coach in youth sports delivered right to your inbox!
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.