I Love To Watch You Play by Robyn Kademan
I Love To Watch You Play. Parenting is one of the hardest things anyone will ever do, and sports parenting adds another level of challenge. Lucky for me, I have great people around me who have shared great advice with me along the way.
The best advice
Probably the best advice I was ever given when my son started playing sports at age 4 was from a former college basketball player, varsity coach, teacher, and amazing dad. He gave me six magic words to share with my son at the end of every game: “I loved to watch you play.”
The confusion goes away
I must have looked confused when he said it because he elaborated. If you comment on the goal they scored or the block they made, they will think that those are the things that made you happy. They may also think that not doing those things would make you mad. That is not what was intended; you were simply excited. Instead, if you say, “I loved to watch you play,” they know that the outcome is not what matters, and the confusion goes away.
I love the other stuff more
The joy I get as a sports parent isn’t from the goals or the hits or the baskets scored, it is simply from watching him in his element playing the games he loves. I probably love the other stuff more: the high fives to friends when they do something well, the hand given to help someone up, and most importantly, the smile on his face when he feels successful. After I tell him that “I loved to watch you play,” I might include the other stuff that makes him a great teammate.
He knows the greeting will be positive
Every game, when he walks towards me, he knows he will hear some version of “I loved to watch you play.” The words and the hug after the game are the best! They are usually followed by all of the highlights he felt happened in the game. Some of them I witnessed, and others I didn’t even know were highlights. He never dreads coming to see me after a game, wondering what I will say or how I will critique his game. He knows that greeting will be positive and happy.
I’ve shared those words
As I’ve become an experienced sports parent, I’ve shared these words with other sports parents. Along with shifting the mindset of how we talk to our kids, I think it has helped the parents as well. They will no doubt experience an emotional roller coaster ride throughout the game, but always ending with, “I loved watching you play,” helps serve as a reminder and keep us grounded in the right reasons for being there too!
Robyn Kademan has been coaching youth sports since she was a teenager, has been teaching middle schoolers for twenty-plus years, and has six years of youth sports parenting under her belt. Through it all, she’s loved watching the joy that sports bring to kids. The sparkle in an eye when that first goal is scored, the cheers from a team when a friend has a great hit, and the kindness kids show teammates when someone is struggling are the things that bring her joy. I love to watch you play, and her tribe of fellow sports parents have helped her grow on her sports parent journey, and she hopes to pass on some of that wisdom to others.
