How to Be a Good Sports Parent: 5 Keys to Supporting Your Athlete
How to Be a Good Sports Parent: 5 Keys to Supporting Your Athlete. It wasn’t too long ago that my daughter began to hate the sport she once loved. Our relationship was suffering, and this amazing and mostly happy girl had become someone I hardly recognized. She was anxious, depressed, and, quite frankly, miserable. I wrote about our experience HERE. The response to this post has been incredible—shared nearly 8,000 times, with hundreds of parents reaching out to share their own heartfelt and often heartbreaking stories.
At its core, youth sports should bring joy, growth, and meaningful life lessons. But when the pressure, expectations, or stress overshadow the fun, it’s a sign that something needs to change. Here are five key ways to shift your approach, ensuring your child thrives and truly enjoys their sports journey
1. Remember the WHY
At some point on this journey, sports parents often, even if subconsciously, expect an ROI for all they have put towards their child’s sport. In turn, we lose track of the real reasons we should want our kids to play. It’s not about college; it’s not about bragging rights or social status or our own unfulfilled needs. The reason we want our kids to play sports is simple. It’s for all the incredible gifts our kids gain from playing sports. In case you need a reminder, here are just a few:
- Learn how to be gracious winners and losers
- Develop time-management skills
- Spend time away from screens
- Expand social circles and friendships
- Improve overall health and fitness
- Learn to work with people from diverse backgrounds
- Understand how to collaborate and work toward a common goal
- Gain experience handling both criticism and praise
- For girls, sports are linked to increased confidence, better academic performance, lower rates of drug and alcohol use, and a higher likelihood of leadership roles in business
- Build strong character traits: leadership, gratitude, humility, bravery, self-regulation, perseverance, and grit
And the really great news, most of these benefits are ENHANCED when kids fail or struggle—losing a game, not making the team, or facing challenges.
2. What We Think is Support, Can Often Feel Like Pressure
It can be a little or a lot. Direct or indirect. It doesn’t matter. Any amount of pressure in youth sports—whether through words, body language, or expectations—can make kids feel like their performance matters more than their happiness and well-being. And once that happens, you’ve likely already lost them.
Our job as sports parents is to ease pressure, not add to it. Show unconditional support through love, encouragement, excitement, and simply being a positive presence on the sidelines. A calm, loving car ride home—no matter the outcome—can make all the difference in helping your child enjoy their sports journey.
If our kids have a bad game, they already know it. They don’t need us to reinforce it—not through our words, disappointed expressions, tense silence, or even skipping the post-game ice cream stop. They need a parent who reminds them that their value isn’t tied to their performance but to who they are.
3. Use These Three Questions to Guide Your Parenting Decisions
If you use these simple questions to guide your every decision, you will not only raise happy and healthy athletes, but they will also be successful because you will be allowing them ownership over this process while setting clear guidelines and values about what is meaningful in your family and in life.
1 – Is it age-appropriate?
Before age 13 or before puberty, fun and multi-sport movement should be the priority. Kids should play multiple sports, develop different motor skills, and follow natural sports seasons instead of specializing too early. A good rule of thumb is that kids should play and practice no more hours per week than their age (e.g., an 8-year-old shouldn’t exceed 8 hours of structured sports). Avoid pushing them into year-round training or making them multi-simultaneous athletes, playing multiple competitive sports at the same time.
2 – Is it what my child wants?
Is this truly their goal or something driven by a coach, teammates, or parents? A child’s passion and commitment to sports will evolve, and that’s normal. Check-in regularly to ensure they still enjoy the sport and feel ownership over their youth sports journey. Let them lead while you provide guidance and support without pressure.
3 – Does it make sense for our family?
Just because other teammates attend elite travel teams, private training, or expensive sleep-away camps doesn’t mean your child has to. Consider what aligns with your family’s values, priorities, and budget. Saying no to youth sports costs that interfere with family vacations, free time, or financial well-being is okay. Teaching kids about balance and priorities will help them develop a healthy relationship with sports in the long run.
4. Develop a Mindfulness Practice
By stepping into the present moment, you step out of their game and out of your reactions to it. You can brush off a bad call, tune out the sideline drama, and instead focus on being a calm, supportive sports parent.
You might intellectually understand the importance of staying composed, but actually doing it in the heat of competition can be difficult—unless you have the right tools. This is where mindfulness for sports parents comes in. It teaches you how to create space between the event and your reaction, helping you stay present and emotionally steady for your child.
There are many free and accessible resources—including mindfulness apps, books, and digital content—that can help you develop these skills. But like any skill, mindfulness is a practice, and no one is perfect at it. The key is to keep practicing, so you can show up as the positive, steady presence your child needs in their youth sports journey.
5. Be a Positive Influence on the Sidelines – Change Other Parents
Psychologists call it behavioral contagion— “a form of social contagion involving the spread of behavior through a group. It refers to the propensity for a person to copy a certain behavior of others in the vicinity or to whom they have been exposed.”
What does this mean to you as a youth sports parent? It means that positive behavior on the sidelines can become just as contagious as negative behavior. Kids, parents, and even coaches learn what is acceptable in youth sports by observing those around them.
There is no shortage of examples of sports parents doing the WRONG thing—yelling at referees, berating young athletes, or creating unnecessary pressure. But it’s up to us to shift the culture in a positive direction by actively modeling the right behavior:
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- Being a calm and supportive presence on the sidelines
- Setting an example by respecting referees, coaches, and players
- Encouraging other parents to promote a positive sports environment
- Speaking up when travel, time, and financial expectations become unreasonable
- Having open conversations with coaches about rest, recovery, and family time
- Advocating for an athlete-first approach where kids’ well-being comes before competition
Final Thoughts on How To Be A Good Sports Parent
Being a good sports parent isn’t about pushing harder but guiding, supporting, and keeping sports in perspective. Your child’s happiness, well-being, and personal growth should always come before trophies and scholarships.
Let’s redefine what success looks like in youth sports. When kids feel loved, supported, and encouraged, that’s when they truly shine.
More articles like this one:
Five Parent Types That Are Killing Youth Sports
Understanding the Ripple Effect: How Parents’ Behaviors Impact the Team
