Dear Other Parents… I’m Crying Uncle

In Balance
By Alex Flanagan | December 8, 2015

By Alex Flanagan

Flag football season had just ended. It was awesome. So awesome that most of the kids on my son’s team signed up to play again. In the spring! Yes, it coincides with the Little League season that most of those same kids have also been signed up to play. So what? All of us are complaining about how we’re soooo busy we don’t have time for family dinners or a girls’ night out, let alone an occasional date night with our spouses. Heck, we hardly have time to shove food down the kid’s throat in the car driving from one practice to another. So what’s another game, an additional practice?

I almost bought into it and signed my son up for spring ball. Almost. Then I realized the only reason I was doing it was to keep up with the Joneses. Here’s the thing. I want sports for my family to be seasonal, to be fun, like all the experts suggest. But…I also, secretly, want my kids to be good. I worry if they don’t keep pace with what all the other kids are doing, that mine will be left out and left behind.

You see, when one person goes rogue it screws things up for everyone else. It’s like when one athlete takes steroids or hormones, the playing field is no longer level. Or when one woman in your group of friends gets fake breasts or Botox, your husband wonders why you are the only one with wrinkles and saggy boobs. Could we all just make a pact amongst us parents? If we stick together, couldn’t we make youth sports fun again? Here’s what I’m recommending … that we ALL play by this new set of youth sports rules.

11 Ways to Parents Can Change Our Out-of-Control Youth Sports Culture

Allow children 12 and under to only play one sport per season: Football or hockey in the fall, baseball in the spring, etc.

Regulate seasons: No year-round teams allowed at least until age 12. No travel baseball or basketball, etc.

Require mandatory downtime from organized sports in the summer.

Limit practices for any sport to twice a week, no more than 90 minutes each.

Prohibit the use and hiring of private coaches.

Only award trophies to winners. Because, it might actually be good for a child to feel like a loser, when they actually lose!

Volunteer coaches must read The Matheny Manifesto and educate themselves on the basic techniques and fundamentals of the sport they are teaching.

Ban Parents (or any relative) who get in a referee’s face.

Allow Birthdays and holidays to trump youth sporting events.

Don’t play daddy ball. 

Commit to a 24-hour rule after all games and practices. No reviewing the game or giving pointers to their kids in the car after the game.

Alex Flanagan co-founded I love to watch you play in 2015. She was flying home from an NFL work assignment when a learning specialist, who was sitting next to her, shared 5 reasons she shouldn’t feel guilty missing her son’s game. She shared their conversation on her own website and the response was so overwhelming it inspired her to create ILTWYP to help parents like herself navigate youth sports.


  1. Hello,
    I’m really enjoying the website and want to thank you both for taking the time to bring this content to us. I’m curious to know if you’ve been able to follow your own rules since sharing this post? I can imagine how tough it must be to stick to the above points when you probably see countless others around you doing the exact opposite. Have you noticed a difference with your kids, positive or negative, in the seven months that have elapsed?

    • Hi Sam-
      Well….we are trying! We are both learning a lot have both done a ton of self reflecting in the process of researching and writing these posts. Our intent however, is never to be judge and jury of sports parenting. We are trying to figure it all out and like everyone else, we are doing the best we can. The # 1 goal of this site is to getting people thinking and open up discussions. Thank you for taking time to comment.


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