From Youth To College Soccer: Six Takeaways For Sports Parents.
And just like that, she’s 3000 miles from home.
Graduated from high school on Thursday, reported for soccer “captains’ practices” that Sunday. This photo was taken the night before she left.
A few months ago, I was sharing articles about this looming end; It’s About Showing Up, The End of An Era For An Athlete, A Sunset Hits Differently, and A Father’s Ode To His Son’s Final Game. Now we are several games into her first collegiate season and I’m finding new challenges around sports parenting, like how to keep emotions in check while watching her on TV😅, post coming soon!
It’s hard to capture all that lead up to this point in her soccer journey, but a few things definitely stand out:
1) Take your time joining club sports. My daughter didn’t join club until 6th grade and is going on to play Division 1 soccer. She rarely felt burned out or sick of soccer. I don’t think she ever complained about going to practice. Too many parents are rushing to specialize when their kids are young. As author David Epstein said, we are developing amazing 15-year-old athletes, who are peaking at 15, then their bodies break down. Try to wait until they are at least 13 to specialize!
2) It’s a journey with many ups and downs, so don’t freak out during the lows or get too excited during the highs. She has been invited to National Team Regional Trainings, and she has been on the bench with limited playing time for an entire season. We have seen most of her teammates go through similar highs and lows. Support them through these times, don’t worry so much. Try to step back and see the big picture, not what they are going through in the short term. Injuries, burnout, bad coaches, and puberty – when their bodies change dramatically, are all part of their competitive sports journeys. Remain balanced and calm so you can be their rock through it all. And most importantly, enjoy the ride. It only happens once; approach their sports as joy and privilege to watch them, even on the bad days.
3) Give them autonomy and ownership over their journey. Her joy and ownership over the process took a huge leap forward when I stepped back and stopped forcing my agenda. If they are doing it for you or because you want it more than them, it won’t end well.
4) Make recovery a priority. We are just understanding the damage that early specialization and overuse cause our young athletes. If your athlete is playing a lot of sports, and often, then educate yourself. It’s unprecedented how much they play and practice today. Do something to combat it. Learn about sleep, nutrition, and recovery. Take these things as seriously as you do all the other aspects of their sports. It will help them stay healthy and improve their performance.
5) Communicate often with your coaches, kids, and anyone who matters in your child’s athletic journey. Don’t stay quiet. I’m not saying be annoying, coaches are extremely busy and are responsible for the entire team first and foremost, so keep your communication to the important stuff. But ask the questions that matter, challenge the status quo, and share important information about your child. If you find people aren’t receptive, make a change from that environment. If the coach doesn’t value your child on their team or want to be a part of their development as a HUMAN and an athlete, then they probably aren’t a great fit for you. Finally, speak to your athlete often about THEIR goals and be open if they want to change them. Stop looking for an ROI or pressuring them to play, and instead, always maintain open and honest communication around their sports.
6) Encourage them to play high School Soccer. The benefits typically outweigh any deficits. The opportunity to play for your community, your peers, teachers and administrators creates this sense of pride and deep purpose that connects you to the game in a different way. Players are often asked to master different positions and skillsets than on their club team, and for my daughter, she was able to become a captain and team leader. She wouldn’t be the player she is today without both club and high school soccer.
More articles from Ilovetowatchyouplay.com that you might like:
My Daughter Quit Sports, And This Is What Youth Sports Parents Need To Know
The 6th Man Is Actually The Parent
Kids Tell Us The Truth About Sports Parents
9 Habits of Highly Effective Team Players
Are We Doing Too Much For Our Athletes?