What If You DON’T Love To Watch Them Play?
What If You DON’T Love To Watch Them Play? I’m guessing most of us have experienced this occasionally…or a lot. We all love watching our kids play – most of the time. But what about those times when you don’t enjoy watching them play? When you find yourself putting your head in your hands to keep from witnessing your 8-year-old manage to find every corner of the court where the action isn’t. Or maybe your baseball player is in a slump – last week, they were crushing the ball, and this week, they can’t hit the side of a barn? Kids’ bodies, minds, and interests are growing and changing at a rapid pace, and this does not always lend itself to good or consistent play.
How Puberty Affects An Athlete
Is Your Parenting Style Killing Your Child’s Motivation?
Studies have shown that winning or watching winning actually increases hormones. We are so closely tied to our children that we get a natural high when they win or do something well. It physically makes us feel good. Their success equals our success. The opposite is true when they aren’t doing well. Mostly because we have a want and need to feel accomplished. We need validation for the sacrifices made and to equate value to their sports. Unfortunately, that’s a lot of ‘WEs’ and not a lot of ‘thems.’
Our kids particularly need us when they are playing poorly and having a bad game. They know they are struggling. They will no doubt feel bad for letting the team and coach down; they don’t need to feel the added pressure of letting their parents down.
There is no better time to be on their side and by their side.
Instead of affirming all the insecure thoughts swirling in their minds by slumping your head down or putting your hands over your face (they see this, by the way), or giving them the quiet treatment after a game, and even worse yet, yelling at them in the car ride home, instead try to maintain positive reactions and smiles from the bleachers and make sure your body language isn’t closed off or angry as you watch or greet them after the game. And we should all know the golden rule: DON’T bring up the game in the car unless THEY want to discuss it.
This is just a moment in time and a small fraction of their lives and sports careers, and this too shall pass. This is youth sports. It’s a roller coaster ride, and it’s the growth they do during the hard times that will serve them the most later in life. So try to remember because when our reactions are tied to performance, it sends the message to our kids that our love is conditional.
Come To Your Senses Sports Parents
Next time you are watching your kid shoot airballs, strike out, not run fast, or get intercepted, take a deep breath, step back, and ask yourself: Is my reaction about them or me? Am I helping them in any positive way right now by how I’m responding? They need us to have their back when they’re down in the dumps, way more than when they’ve just hit a home run, scored a goal, or made the game-winning shot.