The U.S. Surgeon General Declares Parenting A “Growing Public Health Crisis”
The U.S Surgeon General Declares Parenting A “Growing Public Health Crisis”. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, just released an advisory highlighting a growing public health crisis: parental stress. According to the advisory, parents are increasingly overwhelmed and burned out by the “dizzying pace” of today’s world. Dr. Murthy’s message is clear: the mental well-being of parents is directly tied to the well-being of their children.
Well I’ve got news for you Mr. Vivek, if you think the general parent population is in trouble, you should spend some time with sports parents.
This is not meant to be a pity party for us sports parents because it’s our choice. And it goes without saying, although I’m going to say it here anyway (it’s that important), that there are other groups of parents with a much greater amount of stress, for example, those who are caring for children with special needs or aging parents. It’s also important to note that sports bring parents a lot of joy as well.
How To Be A Positive Sports Parent
However, since most kids play sports at some point in their childhood, approximately 45 million children in the United States participate in youth sports each year; the stress of sports parenting is worth discussing in a blog post.
The demands of having a youth athlete or multiple kids who play sports can pile layers of complexity and burden onto an already hectic life. It’s not just about getting them to practice on time; it’s about managing the emotional, financial, and logistical aspects of an athlete’s life.
FOMO Raises The Anxiety
The surgeon general mentions a major stressor for all parents being a “culture of comparison”—often perpetuated online—around milestones, parenting, and achievements, which “has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind.” In sports parenting, this is often magnified. Have you ever signed up for the summer camp the rest of the team is doing, only to get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because you know you can’t afford it.
The Insane Time Commitment
And how many of us wake up before dawn to get our child to a 6 a.m. swim practice, then rush to work, only to leave early for an out-of-town game that same evening? Weekends? Forget about sleeping in or catching up on chores—tournaments and travel consume us. One parent shared, “Every weekend, we’re on the road. The constant travel, time, and exhaustion, it’s relentless.”
The endless hours devoted to practice, games, travel, and tournaments often come at the expense of family time, self-care, and even the simple joy of doing nothing. The grind never ends.
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Financial Stress
A new pair of cleats, the latest bat, the required uniform, payment to get into the tournament, thousands for registration—soon, you’re staring at sports expenses that rival a mortgage. All the equipment, team fees, travel expenses, and specialized training programs can put a significant financial strain on families. One parent confided, “We easily spend $5-7K per year on each kid’s youth sports expenses. We can barely pay our bills but wouldn’t dream of letting our kids miss out.”
The Emotional Toll
Ensuring your child performs well, stays motivated, and handles the inevitable highs and lows takes a toll on your mental health – and theirs. I’m guessing I’m not alone in having spent restless nights worrying about starting lineups, the recruiting process, team politics, and injuries.
Another parent revealed, “The pressure is immense. I constantly worry about their mental state, the competition, and balancing everything else. Sometimes, I feel like I’m failing at everything.”
The Bigger Picture
Dr. Murthy underscores the need for a cultural shift to better support parents, valuing parenting time on par with paid work. Societal support and open conversations about parenting stress are essential to alleviating this burden. The advisory calls for a national paid family and medical leave program, paid sick time for all workers, and bolstered support for child care financial assistance.
For sports parents, there are a few specific things we can do to help alleviate some of the stress. Every child and every family is different, so there is no one-size-fits-all. However, balancing family life, school, sports, and friends is critical; sports should not become all-consuming. But there are a few additional things to consider.
What Can We Do?
1) Remember, we have a choice. Every family needs to have agency in their child’s youth sports experience. Each time we make healthy and positive decisions, we model behavior that sends our kids an incredibly important message. Your health and happiness are more important than your sports. YOU are more important than what you do. And each time we make a good decision, we also model this behavior for other parents.
2) Does it make sense for our family’s value system? Just because other teammates are doing the two-week sleep-away camp doesn’t mean your child has to. Don’t be afraid to talk about priorities and budgeting with your child. It’s good for them to know you aren’t willing to allow youth sports costs to replace a family vacation. Make decisions around what your family values are. Will going to a grandparent’s 80th birthday party mean your child will miss a game or a tournament? Might that be worth it? If you work from a set of values, staying on a positive course will be easier, which will result in less stress.
3) Re-examining the ‘why’ we want our children to participate in sports. While sports offer numerous benefits—including keeping kids active, providing a constructive outlet, and fostering social connections—the primary focus at a young age should be on enjoyment and personal development. Sports impart valuable life skills and strengthen character when approached with the right mindset and the right adults in charge. However, when intense pressure from overly competitive adults and pay-to-play interests overshadow these intentions, stress becomes inevitable for children and sports parents. By prioritizing the true benefits of sports—such as fun, health, and character-building—we can foster a more balanced experience that celebrates the journey rather than fixating solely on winning or outcomes. This shift in perspective can lead to a healthier, more enjoyable sporting experience for everyone involved.
Finally…
At the end of the day, it feels good to be ‘seen’ by our U.S. Surgeon General. Today’s parents are to be commended for all that we are able to do and accomplish, it’s a labor of love, but one that deserves the respect and grace of EVERYONE. And for all of us sports parents, it’s a particularly good reminder that this is an incredible, but challenging journey. When you add up all that we do on the daily for our athlete, on top of the typical parenting responsibilities, it’s A LOT – so it’s important to find positive coping mecanisms and positive outlets. Because too often, we release the pressure by yelling at refs, the other team, or our kids on the drive home.