The Raw Reality of Sports Recruiting
The Raw Reality of Sports Recruiting. The recruiting road for most of us youth sports parents and our high school athletes is not for the faint of heart. All those Instagram commitment posts where the girls are smiling in their college sweatshirts make it look so fabulous. And it is fabulous. I can’t wait to watch her play in college. She can’t wait to play. Those smiles in the posts are pure joy – pure joy that they found a place to play but also that the process is over. Know this: the national team players and phenoms get recruited early, and then it’s a waiting game for the rest. Curious how it will all go down for your girl soccer player? I have two daughters who are D1 soccer players, and here’s our perspective. Please be advised that I am going to keep it real. I’ve read too many fluff articles, and you probably have too.
The College Recruiting Process Is Hard. Here’s What I Saw As An Outsider.
Many Don’t Get To Pick Their Colleges
As background, both of my daughters are strong soccer players and play for a top soccer club in southern California. As I have tried to explain to family and friends, many female soccer players don’t get to pick their college; the college picks them, and they hope it’s a good match. But true to matchmaking, you have to go on many dates and play the field (excuse the pun).
We were optimistic…at first
Here’s my youngest daughter’s journey: it all began in the spring of her sophomore year. We were super optimistic. Her coach and others said she would get recruited quickly. My daughter started with a list of 15 colleges she researched (both from a soccer and academic perspective). She sent each school a customized introduction email and a link to her 1st highlight video. Technically, colleges cannot talk with athletes until June 15th of the summer before their junior year, so we were trying to get ahead. Her clips were viewed plenty of times on YouTube. We were psyched.
Ten Things Nobody Tells You About College Recruiting
It’s impossible these coaches can see all the girls
After the first showcase, we naively thought the phone would ring. It didn’t. A few emails trickled in from coaches saying they liked her play but needed to see more. So, we sent more emails and more clips from games. Coaches would say they would come to watch her and then didn’t show up. My daughter would get bummed at these moments, but it’s a process, so I kept positive, and she kept sending emails and videos. Here’s an important fact to remember: college coaches are “watching” many girls just like our daughter from all across the country. At a tournament or showcase, it’s impossible for these coaches to see all the girls, even if they have the best intentions. And if they see something in that other girl who just happened to do something fantastic to get the spot, then it’s game over. Other coaches did come to watch her play, so thank-you emails were sent, and follow-up highlight videos were made and linked. This cycle repeated itself throughout the Fall soccer season with no offers.
She got no offers from the three ID camps she attended
Between tournaments, there were email correspondences with a few coaches and invitations to their ID camps. A fortune can be spent going to all the ID camps she was invited to. Since money doesn’t grow on trees, we had to select which ones she went to play. We chose not to do group ID camps where multiple college coaches are in attendance. She went to specific college ID camps where she really wanted to play, and the coaches had come to watch her game(s) and saw her videos. We had her club coach vet out the invites by calling the college coach directly to be sure they really wanted to see her play and not just a canned email meant to look personal. She got no offers from the three ID camps/colleges she attended. Coaches again said they liked her play but needed to see more.
It affected her play
It was a frustrating process full of emotional highs and lows for my daughter (and me, if I am honest). Some coaches gave her feedback with additional things they wanted to see in her game. At first, she discounted the input and just kept to her way of play. But her stress level increased as the months ticked on without an offer. She got nervous before showcases and tournaments as she really wanted to impress the coaches and cinch an offer. It affected her play.
How I Found Joy in Soccer Despite The Pressure and Setback
She kept grinding
So, what happened next? We kept going. My daughter kept grinding. She took the feedback from the coaches seriously, started implementing changes in her game, and continued sending out updated videos and emails. It wasn’t easy, and there were more disappointments along the way. But here’s the thing—she never gave up. Neither did we.
This was where she was meant to play
Ultimately, it wasn’t one of her top choice schools that made the offer. It was a school she hadn’t initially considered. But she felt it when she visited the campus—something just clicked. The atmosphere, the team, the coach—it all felt right. She knew this was where she was meant to play.
It was all a necessary part of the process
Relief washed over us all. The recruiting journey was finally over. June after her junior year. Over a year of working to get recruited. She committed with excitement, and we couldn’t be prouder as a family. Many of her friends & teammates got offers in the fall of her senior year. The point is it takes time, and patience is a virtue…it’s so hard, but it is a virtue. But looking back, we realize that the ups and downs, the uncertainty, and the endless waiting were all part of the process. It taught her resilience, patience, and how to handle setbacks with grace.
The right opportunity will come
To any parent or player going through this right now, my advice is this: Keep the faith. Keep working hard. Stay positive, even when it seems like nothing is happening. And most importantly, keep sending those emails and videos. The right opportunity will come, even if it’s not what you originally envisioned. The recruiting process is challenging and will test you, but it’s also a time of growth. Your child will emerge stronger, more focused, more determined, and ready for the next chapter. And when that offer comes, it will all be worth it.
Does your son or daughter want to play in college? If so, they need to harness this secret power that many professional and Olympic athletes utilize. READ HERE
Want to learn more tips, tricks, and secrets to raising athletes, check out the I love to watch you play podcast:
Unlocking the Secrets of Raising Athletes: Insights from a Youth Sports Expert
Bring Back The Joy! Coach Ballgame Is Changing The Way We Coach Our Youth Athletes.
George Mumford: How Mindfulness Can Help Your Athlete
Tony Snethen: Good Enough: 45 Minutes that will change YOUR life.
Katie Wood: The Author of a Simple Seed. A book that will change your athlete’s life.