Our Lives Have Been Hijacked by Hockey, and I’m Done!

Asia Mape

2 weeks ago

Our Lives Have Been Hijacked by Hockey, and I’m Done!

So, I received this email Friday from a mom.

Hi, June 14th, 2024

I am exhausted. Our lives have been hijacked by hockey. All of our money and all of our time goes to hockey. It is way out of control. My son is a goalie, and so we have had to pay so much for equipment and private lessons. I have 3 jobs and work 7 days a week to pay for it. And it has sent the wrong message to my son; instead of being grateful, he acts like a tyrant, indifferent to the sacrifices our family makes for him. He has no empathy toward his 10-year-old brother, who spends so many hours in the car and at the rink.

Coaches used to say that my son was the hardest-working kid on the team.

They would tell me that he is so easy to coach.

Parents used to tell me they wished their kids worked as hard.

I don’t hear anything positive about him anymore.

He only practices when he is at a private lesson. At group practices he does his own thing away from the team. He doesn’t fist-bump the other goalies. We don’t talk in the car on the way to a game or practice because he lashes out at us.

I know it is going to be me that calls it quits.

For the rest of his life, he will believe that he could have made it if it wasn’t for his mother, who gave up on him.

Does it feel a little too familiar?

What can be done?

It’s not his fault, it’s not her fault, it’s not ‘their’ fault.

Everyone has a part. The entire system is broken.

This mom and so many others like her, like me, like you, are caught up in it and don’t think they can get off the hamster wheel. I know I didn’t…at first. But you can. There is another way of doing things. Right now, it’s probably hard to imagine how, or the fear of what we might lose feels too big.

But we must try. Otherwise, we will look back at their childhood with regret because it will be over in the blink of an eye, and every spare moment will have been spent at the rink, the gym, or the field. 93% of youth athletes won’t be playing after high school. So what will it have all been for? Are you ok with risking so much, just to try and be in that other 7%? Instead:

Find the middle.
Find the balance.
Find the sanity.

Your child CAN play sports at a high level and have success without you going into debt, without sacrificing their bodies, their spirit, their joy, their creativity, and every free second of their lives.

►Take agency.
►Do what works for your child and your family. Don’t fall into the FOMO trap.
►Listen to your child. Really listen.
►Communicate with your coaches, and don’t fear them. Work together to do what’s best for your child.
►Make sure your child knows they matter (Get the book Never Enough by Jennifer Breheny-Wallace.)

Get off the wheel.