When Your Athlete Loses Confidence
When Your Athlete Loses Confidence. As parents, watching your young athletes struggle with their confidence can be heart-wrenching. Your child might begin to doubt themselves, their abilities, and their contribution on the field or court. The reasons for losing confidence can vary, from an injury or a losing streak to a change in playing time or a tough coach or team dynamic. As their parent or coach, what can you do to help? And how can you recognize the signs of lost confidence?
First, what does it look like?
Sports parents need to recognize when a youth athlete has lost confidence to help them move through it and normalize it, or it could take on a life of its own. Some signs of low confidence are poor body language, hesitancy in their movements, decreased enthusiasm or motivation, and frequent errors or mistakes. But be aware these signs may indicate other issues, such as fear of failure, anxiety, burnout, or even body changes from puberty. But they are all somewhat related or can lead to a lack of confidence.
So here are things you can do to help:
1) Talk openly: One of the first things you can do to help a struggling athlete is to let them know it’s okay to talk about their feelings. Create a safe and supportive space for your child to express their frustrations, worries, and anxieties. Listen attentively and offer validation and empathy. Avoid downplaying their emotions or telling them to “just get over it.” Acknowledging that losing confidence can significantly impact an athlete’s well-being and performance is important.
2) Practice positive self-talk: Negative self-talk can erode an athlete’s confidence over time. Encourage your child to focus on positive affirmations and self-talk. Help them to identify and challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” they can say to themselves, “I’m working hard, and I’m improving every day.” One recent study found that six ‘magical’ words could boost performance. It’s called using cue words, and sports psychologists often recommend this method.
3) Set small, achievable goals: The term of the day is micro-goals. Setting and achieving small goals can help athletes regain their confidence in incremental steps. As author James Clear, Atomic Habits, writes, every athlete has the same overall goal: winning and exemplary play. What separates those who achieve these goals from those who don’t is their focus on the process. The specific actions or skills they can work on and encourage them to celebrate each small victory. This can help build momentum and a sense of accomplishment, leading to bigger goals and more confidence.
4) Be mindful of language and feedback: As a coach or parent, how you communicate with your athlete can significantly impact their confidence. Be aware of your language and tone of voice, and avoid negative or critical feedback. Instead, focus on constructive criticism and praise for effort and progress. If you have over-talked about performance in the past or been critical, some athletes will be unwilling to share openly (see #1). Here are some suggestions on how to give them space to open up.
5) Seek professional support. Sometimes, a loss of confidence may indicate something more profound, such as anxiety or depression. In such cases, seeking professional support from a sports psychologist or mental health professional is essential. They can help athletes develop coping strategies and provide guidance for overcoming their challenges.
We often want to ignore the signs when our kids’ confidence seems to be slipping and hope they figure it out on their own, and sometimes it will. The typical athlete will have many peaks and valleys throughout their youth sports career, so giving them time and space to navigate those times is vital. But for those who continue to struggle, it may require patience, empathy, and a strategic approach.
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